Jennysha's job log: 11
Jennysha Patel
- June 2009.
The story so far… Jennysha graduated two years ago, and is looking for ways into publishing. Meanwhile she combines work in a bookshop and a library.
My mind: the gap
I am suffering from a ‘crisis of attention’ as I read of in New York magazine a week ago - one of the perks of my job at the bookstore is that I have easy access to an impressive number of magazine titles, US imports included. I have been ‘suffering’ for a while, I think. To put it bluntly, my mind is constantly preoccupied. So filled with thought that when someone asks me what is on my mind, I can’t even explain because I don’t know myself! Does that make any sense whatsoever? I would have imagined that keeping me on my toes with work and social activity would be sufficient stimulation for my mental self and would encourage sharp wit and focus. However, it seems I am experiencing a worst case scenario of information overload and as a result, my attention is all over the place. For a while now, maybe since the darker days of yesteryear (in plain English, last year), I have felt unable to converse the way I used to, extracting facts and other tit-bits of information from my memory to reinforce a point I’m trying to make or to re-tell a story and often cannot recall what I did just the other day.
I am extremely familiar with the concept of ‘l’esprit de l’éscalier’ or ‘stairway wit’ - something I was introduced to by a fellow library assistant. It consists of the notion of thinking up a smart reply to a particular situation, only too late. Well, forget smart, a reply or a particular situation. This is my life on a daily basis, only it’s not even about having a quick comeback, it’s a case of not being able to respond, full-stop.
Learning exercise
Since starting my job at the library, I stopped going to the gym, mostly because I couldn’t fit it in, and, taking into account sleep and relaxing, its priority became rather low. Since recently changing my hours there however, I have had a bit more time on my hands, funnily enough. I wondered whether exercise could be an element to consider when it comes to mental wellbeing. I have discovered that the aforementioned library assistant has an amazingly unbelievable memory and I am trying to piece together what it may be that he does different to me that makes his ability to retain and obtain information so efficiently. He has a real zest for life and never lets the grass grow under his feet and his schedule is as crazy as mine that I wonder how he keeps going. Turns out, he runs everyday and eats really well - healthy, that is.
So, my challenge is not to run - I can just about run for the bus without getting out of breath! But to incorporate exercise into my life (which I have managed to do twice this week, at the gym - something I am glad of as the last time I recall being at the gym - though my memory fails me - was Christmas Eve!) and also to eat healthily. This last one will certainly be a test as I have a real taste for junk and everything that’s not good for you! I am also trying to switch up my routine and the things that I engage in - what I read, what I watch, where I go, who I spend time with, etc. If I felt it would help, I would simply stop and give myself time and space, however this may just be the worst decision I could make, notably because the minute I stop, my mind goes into overdrive thinking non-stop, and that certainly isn’t a good thing for me. Let’s just hope my attempts to eat well and exercise will do the trick and fingers crossed I might just be back on form in my next blog…
Read my previous job logs
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