PhD blog: 25

The story so far… Graham is in the second year of his part-time PhD in which he is investigating American literature post 9/11.

Silent running

 

This week is dissolving into one of contemplation (meaning that I have done little work and am feeling immensely guilty about the whole thing). Distractions are part of PhD life and this week has been full of them. Now, I am sitting bleary-eyed after sitting up most of the night to watch the coverage of the US election, which has led me to a day of activity that dwells somewhere in the minus figures (and probably peaks when I take another sip of tea). It’s not as if I don’t have a full plate, work-wise. I have to finish the complex, astounding novel Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace (currently at page 85, which is no small feat as those who have embarked on this voyage will know). I also have to start work on my definition of Generation X - this involves reading many books and journal entries with the goal of writing an original and worthwhile description that will silence all the people who continually say things like: ‘There’s no such thing as a literary Generation X’. I am currently sitting next to a stack of books with titles along the lines of: Gen X Religion; The Politics of Generation X; The Gen X Reader; American Literature and Generation X and GenXegesis… The task is daunting and I have barely scraped the surface.

This brings me to the point of this post. It’s much, much easier to get distracted when you are starting out on a difficult and involved part of the project. Sometimes, no matter how much you love your subject and no matter how tremendously excited you are about your thesis, your mind grinds to a halt. Actually, that’s not true. Rather than grinding to a halt, your mind works overtime at thinking up ingenious ways of convincing itself that it is undertaking productive and meaningful work towards the PhD. Take last night, for instance. I convinced myself that staying up and watching the election was vital for my PhD - surely I can’t study contemporary American fiction and culture without immersing myself in the very soul of the country? Surely this historic election will impact upon my study in unforeseen ways? I simply must watch the coverage. Who cares if I lose a whole day?

Other tasks also replace work, without it seeming as if they are. Looking for books on Amazon, or library catalogues is important, but unchecked it can bleed into wasted hours of mind-numbing searching and cross-referencing results with author biographies and other works by the same author and websites the author features on and so forth. When Wikipedia is reached it is time to turn off the computer and go and actually read these books.

That said, I’m usually very disciplined and I’m trying not to chastise myself too much for this lapse in work. To be constantly buried in books and journal articles, to be constantly illuminated by the glow of a VDU, and to be refining questions and arguments in a never-ending train of thought is tiring. Maybe these distractions are necessary to keep going, a rest from the challenges of postgraduate study (and working to pay the fees). I know I’ll be back in the saddle this week, probably more refreshed and ready to face Generation X. Until then, it’s time to contemplate. Maybe work naturally comes in these ebbs and flows, and it’s physically impossible to do this demanding and complex task without experiencing isolated periods of downtime. Right now, all I know is that I don’t have to go to work today (i.e. paid work) and perhaps it’s a good opportunity to watch that Iron Man DVD that is lying next to the player. Robert Downey Jnr is surely tonic for the guilt-ridden PhD student, shamed by the lack of work he has done today. Or maybe it’s just another distraction.